We didn't just die, we lived
by girlwithangelwings
Summary: A fanfiction about the lives of the Marauders and those around them. Authors note: I'll post vids on my account that go with the chapters. Please find the first one, "Introducing the Marauders" from Chocolatlovert. Let me know what you think!
1. Introducing

We died young. Most of us, at least.

However, this is not about our deaths.

This, is about our lives.

Our lives made a difference. We saved a lot of people, from random bystanders to our children, but we also killed.

Some of us more than others

We changed others around us, for better and for worse. We helped bring safety in a time of fear.

Who are we?

Well, we're the Marauders.

Let us tell you our story.

It is a story of love and hate, of friendship and enemies. Of gaining and losing, of peace and war.

And yes, of life and death.

It's not a story with a happy ending, not a fairytale. We did not live happily ever after.

It is a story worth telling, though.

So listen closely.


	2. Chapter 1 - Little did we know

_AN:_ Find this episode on Youtube as "Episode one: little did we know". Also by me, obviously. Tell me what you think!

_The girls dormitory – September the first. 10:45 PM._

The mood between the five girls, sprawled out on four beds, was cheery, even to be called celebratory.

'To Lily, our very own Head Girl!'shouted one of them.

She was a pretty one, with long blonde hair, sun kissed skin and bright blue eyes. She was known as Mary Macdonals, or Blondie – looking at you here, Sirius. She lifted a bottle of Butter Beer.

'To me!'giggled the redheaded witch next to her.

She touched her own bottle to Mary's and took a big sip. Her green eyes sparkled with proud and she showed a brilliant smile.

'I still can't believe it. Like, you're gonna share a dorm with James Potter.'

The girl talking had brown hair, brown eyes and the fitting name of June _Brown_. She wasn't the smartest one, not by far, but she had the beauty to make up for it, according to the boys.

'It's James Potter, why on earth would I be happy with that? He's an annoying brat who asks me out all the time.'Lily argued.

'Because he's like.. hot. I mean, did you see that body?'

'How can anyone _not_ see that? He waltzes around the common room without a shirt on, quite frequently.'Alice said.

She was the one with the short, pitch-black hair, soft face and a boyfriend, as the only girl in the room. She and Frank were together for over a year at that point.

'Not that anybody really minds.'Mary thought out loud.

'But, Lily, didn't James stop asking you out after you sucker-punched him beneath the mistletoe last Christmas?'Alice asked.

Lily laughed at the memory of James expecting a kiss and receiving something quite different.

'Yeah, he did.'she admitted,'But I'm afraid he'll start again.'

'I don't think so. He seems changed. Grew up, matured somehow.'

That came from the only girl in the room who hadn't spoken up yet. Grace rarely said anything that wasn't necessary, and only ever in her high-pitched voice. She flicked her silvery blonde hair over her shoulders and her pale blue eyes met Lily's.

'Are we talking about the same James Potter here?'Lily frowned,'Because the James Potter I mean has the Peter Pan Syndrome.'

'I believe he has changed over summer. Something seems different.'Grace shrugged.

'That's nearly as hard to believe as him being appointed Head Boy.'Mary said.

'But he _is_ appointed Head Boy.'Alice reminded her,'So Dumbledore saw something in him. Some sense of responsibility or so.'

'Why are we wasting our good moods and great Butter Beer on talking about James?'Lily whined,'Let's talk about something fun, please.'

'Boys?'June suggested,'Jack Wood looked pretty hot this year.'

'You know who else is sexy?'Mary asked.

'If you say James, I'll push you off the bed.'Lily warned.

Mary laughed and shook her head.

'Not what I wanted to say, though it is true. I was going to say Sirius. I like the beard thing he has going on.'

They all looked to her in amazement.

'What? I like a good beard, okay?'

'Date Dumbledore.'June joked,'Or professor Brothers, he has a beard too.'

'And a long one too.'Grace added, knowingly.

'Are... are we still talking about beards here? Because Brothers' beard isn't that long.'Alice needed to know, knotting her eyebrows together.

Grace smiled serenely.

'You.. you slept with Brothers?'Lily exclaimed,'When? Why? I mean, he's hot for a teacher, but he's still _a teacher_. Isn't that illegal?'

'Like, ew.'June said.

Grace giggled, but stayed tight-lipped.

'Ahw, come on, tell us!'Mary ushered.

'A gentlewoman never kisses and tells.'Grace answered.

'No, come on! You need to!'Lily tried.

Grace remained what Grace was, and kept silent.

'Right, so.. How about Remus? He's not bad.'Alice saved her friend.

'He's so... skinny.'June thought.

'He's smart, that counts for something.'Lily figured.

'Not when talking about looks.'Mary insisted.

'He does have pretty eyes.'Grace said,'They're so _wolf-like_.'

She exchanged a knowing glance with Lily. The two of them found out the truth about Remus' "furry problem" after the OWLs, when they overheard the boys talk about the werewolf question.

"_Did you like question ten, Moony?"Sirius had asked._

"_Loved it. Name five signs that identify a werewolf. Excellent question."Remus answered._

"_Do you think you managed to get all the signs?"James snickered._

"_I think so. One – he's sitting in my chair. Two – he's wearing my clothes. Three – his name is Remus Lupin."_

Really, keeping a secret was never Remus' strong side. Lily shivered as she remembered what happened after that exam. The whole saving-Snape-and-being-called-a-mudblood incident. A great friendship, ruined. Granted, it had been going downhill ever since Severus befriended those Slytherin creeps, but Lily would have tried to talk him out of that, if she had gotten the chance.

'That's not sexy, that's weird.'June told them,'You know who else is a weirdo? Frank's best friend, what's-his-name Macmillan.'

'Alex.'Alice corrected her,'And he's nice. He's just.. a bit geeky.'

'He's weird. He wanted to go stargazing with me. Like, ew.'

'That's cute!'Mary giggled,'I think he's adorable, he's so shy.'

'I thought you were the "confidence is sexy" kind of girl? I mean, Sirius has confidence written all over him. Why else would you be into him?'Lily asked.

'He's got the head the size of an air-balloon.'Alice added.

'I'm not into him! And I _do_ think confidence is sexy, but that doesn't mean shy can't be adorable. And besides, Sirius is more than just a big ego.'

Lily blinked rapidly a few times.

'Really? Like..?'she asked.

'Like... I don't know, just..'

'You just like the whole dark, broody act.'Alice said.

'You should be the one to speak. Frank is the incarnation of broody.'June defended Mary.

'He is not!'Alice muttered.

'Is too.'

'Is not!'

Lily shut them up with a hand gesture.

'Shush, you. Mary, what more is there to Sirius?'

Mary licked her lips in thought.

'Well, he's kinda smart, and funny. He's kind to his friends, loyal. A great, sexy wizard.'she then blurted out.

Eight eyes widened.

'Oh, bugger off! Go annoy Alice about her love life.'Mary said, cheeks reddening a bit.

'So there _is_ a love life.'Lily teased.

'No! I just..'

'Yes?'four voices asked.

'He's just..'

'Yes?'they went on.

'He's just sexy, okay!'Mary squealed.

'You _are_ into him.'Grace stated.

Mary, now tomato-red, started muttering excuses. The other girls burst out in laughter and an interrogation started.

_The boys dormitory – September the first. 11:30 PM._

'James, my man, this is going to be your year. Sharing a dorm with Lily-cakes. You lucky bastard.'

Sirius tapped his bottle of Fire Whiskey against James', blissfully ignorant of being discussed by a room filled with girls. Not that that never happened. Sirius tended to be the subject of many witches conversations.. and fantasies. According to him, that was the "curse" of being "so incredibly stunning and sexy" - his words. He brushed his long black hair from his face and smiled at his best friend, who was sitting at the end of his bed.

'Maybe now you'll finally get her to fall in love with you.'Remus teased.

The, also discussed, werewolf was sitting in the windowsill, wolfish brown-green eyes fixed on the summer-sunset as he spoke.

'Really, I'll be happy with anything. Even friends.'James answered, running a hand through his already tousled black hair.

He took a gulp from his bottle and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

'Friends, pfft.'Sirius said, literally waving that word away,'Mark my words, our Lily-cakes will have fallen for you by the end of the year.'

'How can you be so sure?'Peter asked.

He was the smallest one of the group of six boys, with a rat-like face, brownish hair and brownish eyes. Besides the smallest, he was the only not-discussed boy, because he was far from sexy. If anything, only adorable fit him from the words the girls had used.

'The same way I'm sure June will finally give in to Alex and Frank will propose to lovely little Alice. People are predictable.'

'Maybe now I won't propose, just to prove you wrong.'Frank dryly said.

'Wait, you think June will fall for me?'Alex asked enthusiastically at the same moment.

The two best friends were sitting on their beds. For many people it was a miracle why they even were friends. Frank was the quiet one, while Alex just kept talking. Alex loved chess and comics, while Frank loved quidditch and drinking. It wasn't just their characters that differed like day and night. Frank was broad shouldered, blond and blue eyed, whereas Alex was on the skinny side, with hair that was so brown it was nearly black and eyes that almost matched that colour. In their own way, both could be considered handsome, but they were not as frequently drooled over as Sirius and James. If Frank hadn't had Alice, he might have been closer to it.

'I never said she'd fall for you. But give in, she will.'

Sirius' voice had a Yoda-accent at the last sentence. He and James went to a Star Wars -marathon at a cinema over summer, because Lily had went on and on about how sexy Harrison Ford was. James had to check out the competition, of course. Both he and Sirius never expected to like it.

'Why would she give in, if not because she likes me?'

'She likes you all right.'Remus said,'She's just not willing to admit it. And by the way, I can make some predictions about you too, Sirius.'

'Tell me, Moony. You have me curious.'

'You'll shag at least three girls, get into a fistfight and have detention every week.'

'Sounds like a great year.'Sirius cheered.

'How about me?'Peter asked,'What will my year be like?'

'Lemme think...'Sirius rubbed a hand across his stubble,'You'll finally lose your virginity, get so pissed you throw up on Minnies shoes and, erm...'

Minnie was short for Minerva McGonagall, their favourite professor and House Head. She hated them for calling her Minnie, but James and Sirius refused to stop.

'Change your plans for the future at least two times.'Remus offered.

'We'll see how many of your prophecies come true.'James said.

'I _predict_ at least four.'Frank smiled.

The boys all laughed and drank in silence for a while.

'You know what still amazes me?'Alex asked,'How James is Head Boy. He wasn't even Prefect.'

'Not to mention the whole "At the moment, you're going nowhere" thing with prof Gooderham, last year.'Remus added.

'What was you're brilliant response to that again, James?'Sirius asked.

James grinned and tried to clean his glasses with his blouse.

'Is nowhere for the geniuses, sir? 'Cause then I probably do belong there.'

As the others laughed and Peter applauded, James cursed at his glasses and cast them aside.

'Bloody things.'he muttered, before taking a glance at his watch,'I'd better be going. I promised Lily to be in the common room by twelve, so we could explore our dorm together.'

'You mean, explore each other.'Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows.

James punched him on the shoulder and stood up.

'No, that is not what I meant.'he answered, looking around his old dorm,'Strange I won't be sleeping here anymore. I'll miss you, lads.'

Sirius clutched his hands in front of his heart.

'Oh my, now you've got me all sentimental, Jimmybooboo.'

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius pretended to sob.

'You go, James. I'll deal with the tears.'

James smiled and put his glasses back on his nose. He sighed, greeted his friends and left the room. Remus tossed Sirius a hanky. He faked blowing his nose with elephant sounds.

'Guys, you need to comfort me now. Frank, give me sexy stories about Alice. You're the only one here who had sex, apart from me. And I can't cheer up myself, can I now?'

Remus cleared his throat and stared at the now dark Hogwarts grounds. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

'Moony, you did the sucking-in-your-cheeks-thing. You only do that when you're hiding something.'

'I dunno what you're talking about.'Remus said, at his most innocent tone.

'Who? When?'Sirius insisted, laughing.

'Wait, what happened? I don't get it, guys.'Peter said.

'You never get it, Pete.'Frank answered,'Come on, Remus, who is she?'

'Pwease, Moony? Itty pwetty pwease?'Sirius pouted.

'Fine, fine! Stop whining already. What do you wanna know?'Remus gave in.

'Lovely!'Sirius grinned diabolical,'Give us a name, age, when and where.'

'Guys, I..'Peter started.

'Hush, Wormy.'Sirius ordered him,'Go on, Moony.'

'A girl I met on holiday with my family, in France. She's called Apolline, and.. Quit laughing, Sirius, or I won't tell anything.'

'Sorry, mate. Apple-ine, go on.'

'Yes, _Apolline_. She was twenty-three.'

Sirius' left eye twitched and Alex' mouth dropped open. Remus smiled contently.

'An older woman, hot.'Frank applauded,'So, she taught you the ropes and all?'

'What ropes?'Peter squeaked.

'Shh, Pete.'Alex commanded.

'Yeah. I was a bit hesitant at first, but well... Nobody says no to a half-Veela.'

Alex' mouth opened further and Sirius right eye started to twitch too.

'You... yooooou, you, whaaat?'Sirius uttered,'You, you liar!'

'No, I swear. I got fucked by a twenty-three year old half-Veela.'

Peter finally got it and nearly fainted.

'Merlin's private parts, Moony! You... Wow!'Sirius exclaimed.

'You've beat Sirius at his own game now. He never had a Veela.'Frank grinned.

'Or a twenty-three year old.'Alex knew.

'I did! Well, twenty-four, but still.'Sirius defended himself.

He stared at Remus, still shocked.

'Great Scott, Remus, why didn't you tell us before?'Frank asked.

'You didn't ask.'Remus laughed.

'Merlin, I've gotta tell James. Be right back. Don't move the room while I'm gone.'

Sirius left the room in a whirlwind of drama.

_The Head Dormitory – September the second. 12:30 AM._

'Wow. This is beautiful.'Lily sighed.

James and Lily were standing in the doorway of the Head Dormitory, staring at the room in pure awe. There were two king-size beds, night-stands, a comfy-looking sofa, a huge desk with chairs, a bookcase and a closet in the large room. The walls were creamy white, decorated with the four House signs and symbols, the floor was dark wood. The windows gave a beautiful view of the green hills and the lake. The curtains around the beds were crimson, like the sofa, representing the Gryffindor streak. James opened the other door, that appeared to lead to a bathroom. It had a pool-like bath, a walk-in shower, a toilet, a sink and a towel-stand with crimson towels. There was a moving painting on the wall, like Lily remembered from the Prefect bathroom. This wasn't a mermaid, however, it was an ocean view with fishes.

'A-fucking-mazing.'James breathed.

'Language, James.'Lily warned him, still gaping at the bathroom.

'Well, it is, isn't it?'

'Totally.'she admitted.

'Why didn't we become Heads earlier?'he asked.

'We were to young.'she reminded him.

'Oh. Right.'

He closed the door and walked towards the beds. He graciously swan dived on one of them.

'Yup, I like this.'he stated, smiling at Lily.

She smiled back and sat down on the other bed.

'We should make some rules, though.'she suggested,'To avoid arguments. Let's not fight this year, wouldn't be a good example.'

'Absolutely true. Rules, right. I'm not good at keeping them.'

'I'm well aware of that. Just give it your best shot, okay?'

'I solemnly swear. What kinda rules?'

'Firstly, no fucking in this room. I don't wanna walk in on you with some skank.'

'Language, Lily.'James teased.

Lily scowled at him, and he laughed.

'Got it, no fucking here. I'll take it to the skanks bed or a broom closet. Or, you didn't mention our...'

'And no fucking in the bathroom.'Lily interrupted him.

'Okay, okay.'James surrendered,'Next rule?'

'No walking around naked.'

'I wouldn't mind if you did.'

Lily glared at him, but his smile was too infectious to stop herself from smiling too.

'More rules?'he asked.

She bit her lower lip in concentration. James looked at her affectionately. Man, she was beautiful.

'Can't think of anything else just yet.'

'Well, if you think of anything else, lemme know.'he said, laying down with his arms under his head.

Lily licked her lips unconsciously at the sight of his quidditch-muscles tensing up in his arms. His shirt became a little tighter around his chest, vaguely showing his chiselled chest and stomach. James caught her staring at him and gave her a sexy smirk. She rolled her eyes.

'So, how're you?'he asked.

'Fine, a little tipsy, I think. We had some Butter Beer to celebrate. You?'

He took his hip flask of whiskey from his pocket and took a sip.

'I'm good, never better.'he saw her ogling the bottle,'Want some?'

'If you're trying to get me drunk to have sex...'she warned.

'Trust me, if we ever have sex, you'll be very conscious and very happy, _without any booze_.'

He gave her his most sexy look. Lily gulped and felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. She blamed the Butter Beer, but that _did_ sound appealing. Unfortunately for James and luckily for Lily, Sirius stormed in that very moment, breaking the tension.

'Rule four, tell your friends to knock.'Lily sighed.

'Merlin, Prongs, you won't believe this. Moony had sex. No, better said, Moony got fucked.'

'I don't even wanna know. I'm taking a shower, and when I'm back, he's gone, 'cause I wanna sleep.'Lily ordered.

As Lily left for the bathroom, Sirius sat down on James' bed and told him everything.

Half an hour later, Lily walked back into the room after her shower. Sirius was, indeed, gone.

'Had a nice shower?'James asked, without looking up from the book he was reading.

'Very. Never had a shower that big.'

She got beneath the blankets. It surprised her James didn't even try to sneak a peek, since she was only wearing panties and a big shirt that barely covered her arse. Little did she know, that James was stealthier than he looked, in fact, had managed to look without getting caught.

'What're you reading?'Lily asked.

'The Lord of the Rings.'

Lily looked at him in amazement.

'That's my favourite book!'

'I know.'his eyes met hers and he smiled,'That's why I'm reading it. Last year, you called me "precious" after I said "boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew", about potatoes. When I didn't get it, you told me: "never mind, Lord of the Rings. Muggle book, my favourite."'

Lily was now simply stunned.

'And you remember that?'

'I remember nearly everything you say to me.'he admitted.

He was so bluntly honest, Lily was fascinated, embarrassed and creeped out at the same time.

'Everything?'she repeated.

'_Nearly_ everything, Lils. Learn to listen.'he teased.

'Why?'

'I have a pretty good memory for things that have my interest.'

'So, I have your interest?'

Dear Merlin, she was flirting with him. Both of them blamed it on the Butter Beer.

'You know you do. I only ask out girls that are interesting.'

'You stopped that.'she reminded him,'Why?'

'D'ya want me to start again?'

He lifted his eyebrows challenging.

'No!'she said.

It stung James how quick that was.

'But, why did you stop? Did you lose interest?'

'Nah. You made it _pretty_ clear you'd never go out with me.'

Lily cringed as she remembered the particular fight she was sure he was referring to.

"_Come on, Lily! Just go out with me. We both know you love me."_

"_Sweet mother of Merlin, will you just bugger off? I will not go out with you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever!"_

"_But you love me."_

"_No, I don't! In fact, I'm amazed that anybody likes you, let alone loves you! No wonder your father is disappointed in you!"_

She never knew exactly how much that had hurt James. His father was one of his few weaknesses, though he never told anybody but Remus and Sirius. Lily never knew it, and he didn't plan on telling her, but how it had stung that she still caught him on his Achilles heel. All he ever wanted, was to make his father proud. First year, Harold Potter was truly proud of his son and his grades. Then, James' grades started to falter. James wasn't one of the best students anymore, Lily and Remus had pushed him from his throne. James still knew the exact words his father had written on his "happy" birthday letter.

"_I hope this year you won't fail to make me proud. Don't disappoint me, lad. You're a Potter."_

For others, it might have been considered a joke, but Harold Potter never joked. James slipped after that, living for his own fun and goals, not caring – pretending not to care – about his fathers opinion. It wasn't until Lily punched him beneath the mistletoe, he realised what on earth he was throwing away. He started working again, greatly improved his grades. Dumbledore had noticed the change, but his father didn't. Alzheimers had set in after Christmas. When James came home for his summer, ready to make his dad proud again, Harold barely remembered his son. James had never been so angry, so hurt. Why hadn't his mother told him? He knew his father was old, but this was more than forgetting what he had done two days ago. Why had he allowed himself to stop trying? He was determined to never to that again, to never slip again. Dumbledore had given him the chance. The moment the letter arrived, he went to see his father at his study, showing him the badge.

"_Congratulations, lad! I bet your parents are proud of you."_

It was the best thing James could have heard, though it was hardly his father speaking.

'I'm sorry about that, James.'Lily interrupted his train of thought.

He gave her a smile. She rarely ever said his first name.

'I know.'

He closed his book and put it on his night-stand, before standing up.

'I'm gonna go change. You can go to sleep, if you like.'

'All right. Good night.'

'Sleep tight, Lils. Don't let the bedbugs bite.'

After a shower and and the necessary before-bed preparations, James walked back into the now dark room. Lily had closed her curtains and James supposed she was asleep. James slipped into his bed and shut his curtains. As he lay there, he thought about her.

Little did he know, that he was on her mind too.


End file.
